In Which, Apparently, Taking A Bullet For Someone "Only Goes So Far"

Season 3, Episode 15
The Pain in the Heart



Fun fact: the first three minutes of this episode were some of the three most freaked-out minutes I had ever spent watching television when it first aired.



Also when it first aired, I remember initially feeling upset that Brennan wasn't more emotional. After thinking about it, though, I changed my mind, because 1) she was quite emotional – she wasn't falling over sobbing, but she was VERY angry. The way she was snapping at everyone at the lab, the way she said her lines about gladly taking the bullet, and why, if there is a merciful God, why he didn't save Booth. I don't think we had ever seen her that angry on the show before. So, her feelings were deep and passionate, they were just manifesting themselves in a different way than normal (which makes sense, since Bones isn't normal, especially when it comes to emotions, and 2) we have no idea what happened before the day of the funeral, or what would have happened after it had he really been dead. She might have had a major breakdown at the hospital when she was told he died, gotten it all out then, “realized” that her feelings were irrational, and then started repressing them (oh man, I can smell a fanfiction cooking in my brain already, even though it's more than likely already been done). Or the breakdown might have come later, weeks after not doing a case with him leading her to finally realize that Booth was dead.

One of my favorite reactions of her in this three minutes of Booth being dead is her ferocity in saying that she lost a partner to Sweets when he refers to Booth as a “loved one”. Of course, they always say, they're just partners. And that's especially so now, because in Bones' mind, why deal with repressed feelings she might have had for him when he's dead? Since there's literally no chance of anything coming to fruition anymore, she sees no good coming from dealing with those feelings. So yes, Sweets, Booth and I were just partners.

BOOTH: I already explained this to you. The bureau has to vet everyone when there is a security issue. I was just following protocol.

BRENNAN: Protocol!?

BOOTH: Yes!

BRENNAN: We've been partners for three years, Booth, and you've broken protocol before – sometimes putting my life in danger. Which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me.

BOOTH: (standing up) I took a bullet for you!

BRENNAN: Once! That only goes so far (realizing that Booth is standing there, naked) Would you like a towel?

(He sinks back into the tub)

BOOTH: Fine. What is it that I should have done, Bones? Wha- what did you want me to do?

BRENNAN: Well, you could have called me. Did you really think I needed to be vetted by your boss? I mean, don't you trust me?

BOOTH: Of course I do.

My, my, Bones. Since when does rational, reasoned Bones burst in on Booth when he's in the bathtub? For someone who has lost a partner, but nothing more, you're really acting out quite “passionately”, as Sweets would say.

(FANGIRL MOMENT: I know it's a work thing and not a couples thing, but still, the fact that Bones either has a key to Booth's house or knows where one is hidden outside – awwww <3)

NON B&B OBSERVATION: My heart breaks every time I watch the part where Bones kisses Zach's forehead before they leave the hospital :(

BOOTH: Woah. Wait a minute. Now why are you mad at me then?

BRENNAN: Because you should have told me, personally.

BOOTH: Oh, I should have just ignored National Security concerns, broken the law and told you.

BRENNAN: Yes. You know I'm very trustworthy.

So Sweets is off the hook because it was a professional thing, but with Booth, it's personal.

Yeah, so much for “He was my partner, Sweets”.

SWEETS: You know, I think it's interesting, psychologically how Agent Booth's constant efforts to persuade you to enjoy fruit pie could be interpreted as a kind of seduction.
BOOTH: Whatever you two are talking about? Just stop it. Zip it. Let's go.



Nothing to do with anything, I just love the idea of Booth's pushing of pie as seduction.



BRENNAN: You think I don't recognize an experiment when I see one? You experimented on us.

SWEETS: Beg your pardon.

BRENNAN: Not telling me Booth was alive? You wanted to quantify our reactions for your own research? You took advantage of us. Booth and I agreed to let you observe us. We did not agree to be used as lab rats, so you better cut it out.

SWEETS: Dr. Brennan, why are you talking so fast?

BRENNAN: Because if Booth hears why you did what you did? He'd beat ya up.

SWEETS: Don't you think that'd be an overly aggressive act?

BRENNAN: Not at all. So you better not do it again.

I remember watching this episode the first time and being so agitated over the fact that neither of them realized Sweets was experimenting on them, and then this happened, and I was just like “YES, GO BONES!”

And I love that she knows Booth would beat Sweets up. Because he totally would.

BRENNAN: I also had access to the chemicals Zack made. Why am I not a suspect?

SWEETS: Well, you have a reverence for life that belies the cold, calculations of a killer. And the emotional connection you share with Agent Booth...

BRENNAN: No. That..I - (she starts getting up) I don't have time for this. No. (she leaves)

BOOTH: (to Sweets) Don't you know by now you can't rush her?

SERIOUSLY, Sweets! You should know that even using the word “emotion” in relation to anything having to do with her and Booth will shut her down. Because she is emotionally involved with him. But she can't admit that yet, not to herself nor anybody else. So the second anyone gets on it, she shuts down. Duh. Get with the program, Sweets.

I haven't watched this episode since it aired, and I cried, again, basically from the scene in the hospital once they've figured out Zach's the apprentice to the end. God, it's so damn sad. And such great acting by everyone.



And, of course, the very end. When Bones is upset because she doesn't think she ever gave Zach anything, and Booth reads the letter she wrote to him when he became her intern. And she leans over on his shoulder. He is figuratively and literally the shoulder she leans on. At this point in her life, that is something she simply cannot afford to lose. So when she did think she lost it, that's why she wasn't falling over sobbing. To fall over sobbing, she would have to have truly accepted that he was gone, and for him to be gone is something that simply cannot happen.