In Which She Knows More Than She Thinks She Does

Season 7, Episode 4

The Male in the Mail

She can totally tell it's not totally right because he responds in his normal way when he doesn't want to deal with something. Even though in their pair he's typically the one to come out and say what's up, of course nobody is like that all the time, especially when it comes to something as sensitive and complicated as his issues with his dad. After being together seven years now, she knows it's a big deal when he avoids something like this and she's learned more how to deal with it by watching him, as evidenced at the crime scene when she says “I was trying to be supportive by trying to adapt a matter-of-fact demeanor like you” when she tells Cam his father died.

Then in the car scene, she of course knows he's upset about it and is trying to completely mask it. She tries multiple times in multiple ways; by going with him to the scene, by talking about the Buddhists, etc. After all her tries, he's still pushing away from talking about it, this time by throwing the focus back on her, and you can see her physically resign from trying for the time being, as she knows by now that pushing it and pushing it too much at once at the wrong time will backfire. So she goes along with it.

When she's talking to Angela, when Angela asks her how Booth is doing and Bones says she doesn't know, she looks down right before she says “I should know how to help him, shouldn't I?”* Of course she wants to be able to help him and feels she's failed so far, but as has been with Brennan as the series has gone on, she actually does understand him and how to relate with him better than she thinks she can. While Booth is good at helping others, with his own emotional stuff he can shut himself up tight and won't open unless you do it at the right time, in the right way. Bones might not consciously know this, but subconsciously, she does. She thinks she hasn't helped him yet, but really by not insisting she help him yet, she's made her potential for helping him in the best way possible greater.

So she does just what Angela tells her to, she figures out what she can give him that nobody else can't, what makes it different for her to get him to talk about it than others trying. She finds exactly what it is – they're spending their lives together. He's not doing that with anyone but her. And so he can't shut her out, she says. She stands her ground on it, too. She knows now is the time to push, now that she knows and is using exactly the thing unique to her. She uses the stories she knows of him and his father, possibly (perhaps even likely) stories he's only ever told her, she uses her own knowledge of quantum theory to get him to remember it wasn't all bad, to let go of his anger so he might actually get to the love the anger is surrounding right now, so he can be able to open the box, so he can be able to fully grieve. 


ETA: I need to mention that I have NOT watched all of this latest season yet. I am posting these as I go, I'm going to try to commit to at least one a day (or every other day) until I get them all done but I just got a new job so we'll see. But because of that, I will be posting each post without knowing what all else happens in this season, and I'm writing them as I would normally write them, which means I might make some predictions or inferences that might be totally off or wrong with what actually happens episodes later. I ask that you appease me and NOT let me know when I'm totally wrong or spoil me for anything in the comments, as half the experience for watching for me is the excitement of when things are different than I thought. If you'd like to go even further and comment like YOU don't know what's going to happen next either, that'd be wonderful fun for me ;)


ETA2: I'm also in the process of responding to comments that have been left on older posts since I've been away, so if you left me any, be checking those posts, I'll hopefully have responded to everything in the next couple days.


ETA3andhopefullylast: Oh my, after already responding to a few comments only just NOW have I realized blogspot now lets me reply to comments directly, instead of just posting them as a general comment. So still go back and check if I responded to some you left before because they might have been before I realized this, but from now on I'll be able always to respond direct. RAD!